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Steven Wright - For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Kirstie Alley - I binge when I'm happy. When everything is going really well, every day is like I'm at a birthday party.
Robert Frost - A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
Daniel Handler - I like to give people novels I think they would like, on no particular occasion - just when we're in a bookstore together. I like to receive reference books on my birthday.
Guy Johnson - My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, so I said I wanted to read poetry with her.
Audrey Hepburn - Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.
Rodney Dangerfield - With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
David Ulevitch - My mother still sends a cake to the office for my birthday.
Gloria Stuart - When I was little I thought, isn't it nice that everybody celebrates on my birthday? Because it's July 4th.
Victor Cruz - My mom and my father's birthday are on the same day.
Liv Tyler - I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too.
Mikhail Baryshnikov - I like to go to anybody else's birthday, and if I'm invited I'm a good guest. But I never celebrate my birthdays. I really don't care.
Barry White - I quit high school on my birthday. It was my senior year and I didn't see the point. This was 1962, and I was ready to make music.
Julianna Margulies - The reason I met my husband was because I remembered a friend's birthday. The moral of the story is: Remember people's birthdays.
Steven Wright - I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Molly Sims - My mom FedExes a red velvet cake she makes from scratch to me every birthday.
Debbie Macomber - I am a big popcorn fanatic. I love popcorn. In fact one year for my birthday, my husband bought me one of those big popcorn machines like they have in movie theaters.
Stephen Hopkins - I had a birthday one night on a farm we were shooting on. I walked into the tent, and there were 150 people waiting for me, all wearing masks of my face.
Pankaj Kapur - School days were very special to me as I never found the time to complete my graduation.
Vinod Khanna - After my graduation from Sydenham College with a degree in Commerce, I was spotted by late Sunil Dutt, my idol, to act in films.
Vatsal Sheth - I started with a television serial, 'Just Mohabbat,' when I was in the first year of my graduation.
Alok Nath - I did schooling and graduation from Delhi and then went to the National School of Drama.
Kiku Sharda - I have done my post graduation in Business Administration.
HoYeon Jung - I've done photo shoots for fashion brand catalogues and participated in graduation shows for fashion colleges.
Simu Liu - I studied finance and accounting in college, and I worked at a massive accounting firm out of graduation.
Chase Elliott - There's no guarantees in anything you do. But I hope there are many more weekends I can race in my life, and high school graduation you only do once.
Tony Cardenas - Truancy rates are directly correlated to low graduation rates.
Jens Lekman - I went to Legoland in Denmark when I was five, I think, but I went to Germany when I was 17 to have a little adventure after graduation.
Bob Iger - If someone comes to you with, 'It's my kid's graduation,' you don't tell them, 'Sorry, you can't go to that.' You just don't do that. You figure out some other way.
Clint Smith - School desegregation is associated with higher graduation rates, greater employability, higher earnings, and decreased rates of incarceration.
Ruben Hinojosa - While I do commend the Administration on its commitment and focus on high school reform, I believe that we must focus on graduation as the key accountability measure.
Buddy Valastro - Cakes are special. Every birthday, every celebration ends with something sweet, a cake, and people remember. It's all about the memories.
Karl Jaspers - Only then, approaching my fortieth birthday, I made philosophy my life's work.
Jean Paul - Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.
George Harrison - All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.
Aimee Bender - I like birthday cake. It's so symbolic. It's a tempting symbol to load with something more complicated than just 'Happy birthday!' because it's this emblem of childhood and a happy day.
Samuel Johnson - The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.
Lewis Carroll - There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know.
Adele - I love a card. You know, cards? At birthdays? I collect them.
Sammy Hagar - Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.
E. Joseph Cossman - The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Norman Rockwell - I'm not going to be caught around here for any fool celebration. To hell with birthdays!
Sam Levenson - It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'
Sloane Crosley - I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory.
Kristin Armstrong - I love the big fresh starts, the clean slates like birthdays and new years, but I also really like the idea that we can get up every morning and start over.
Anne Lamott - The worst part about celebrating another birthday is the shock that you're only as well as you are.
Robert Staughton Lynd - Most of us can remember a time when a birthday - especially if it was one's own - brightened the world as if a second sun has risen.
Ellen Glasgow - It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.
Art Buchwald - This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.
Loretta Lynn - My biggest hero, Gregory Peck, was my birthday present on April 14, 1973. I just sat and stared at him.
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